Upon Reflection - Week 4
On appreciating limit, tending what matters, and the fruit in the side yard
13 years.
This week we will have enjoyed 13 years of life with our firstborn son. What a tremendous gift. In light of living with eyes wide open in a broken world, I am receiving this reality for the undeserved blessing that it is.
Last night, we gathered in celebration with extended family over a wonderful dinner of steak and baked potatoes (one of my son’s favorite meals) and an even more wonderful dessert of homemade Berry Chantilly cake. It was loud, fun, delicious, and meaningful.
After we had blessed the food and made kids’ plates, I sat down with a cousin that I don’t often see but thoroughly enjoy. She is a calming presence and has a bit of a green thumb. An element about her that delighted me last night was her shirt. It was covered in a variety of garden plants and tools and said “I’ll be in my office.”
“How is the garden shaping up this year?” I asked.
“It’s been great! I have more weeds than I’ve had in the past but we have an abundance of lettuce and are growing beans!”
“Good for you!” I said with absolutely no bite to it.
“How about you guys? Do you have a garden this year.” she asked.
Sadly, no.
I explained that this had been a bit of a weird summer. My husband has traveled six of the past seven weeks for work and our oldest has ventured into summer school and building his lawn mowing business.
“You know, I’m coming to terms with the reality of my limits. The only thing we are growing on purpose this year is a blackberry bush…but it’s exploding with fruit!”
—
At the beginning of this year, I noted that the “word” for the year was “limit”. I have aimed at leaning in to limit and learning from that reality.
Not surprisingly, it seems that this has been a long season of very focused tending. I’ve been made keenly aware of my capacity and have tried to live accordingly. I simply can’t do it all, much as I would like to.
Living in my limit has meant that I won’t have home-grown tomatoes this year. It has meant that I can’t pursue opportunities in a space I would love to return to. It has meant saying “not this time” to many invitations, along with significant delays in setting up desired meet-ups and appointments.
Living in my limit has not felt sexy; but, it has been fruitful.
Over the years, our blackberry bush has fared well in growth but not in fruitfulness. It has grown like a weed and sent out shoots in all directions. Given that it is a thorned blackberry bush, it has been no small pain to reign it in. But we have pruned and given direction and I am amazed at how much this intention and care has transformed the bush. It is covered in the first signs of fruit. Day by day we watch it ripen.
It is interesting to me that our blackberry bush is not necessarily visible to others. It is tucked away in our side yard – it’s unfolding glory being ours alone to behold. There is something striking and beautiful about this reality to me.
I discovered yesterday that it is perfectly framed when we open the shades on our south facing window. Little did we know, all those years ago, when we planted it that, in this season, its actual location and the story of its fruitfulness would be a focal point at the heart of our home.
This visual reminder of God’s faithfulness and the fruitfulness of living in limit is a gift I am cherishing this season. As I labor on in my own season of cutting back and clarifying what needs to be established, I trust that the Lord will bring the fruit and ripen it in his time.
So far, the fruit I see ripening is mostly related to the connection I have to God, to myself, and to others (namely, my children and husband). This is no small thing!
Here’s what the tending looked like this week:
The Feast
Books
Holy Hygge (Chapter 4: Atmosphere) by Jamie Erickson
The Art of Living in Season by Sylvie Vanhoozer
The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion by Beth Brower
Luke 18-19
Podcasts & Sermons
Raising Boys and Girls Ep 382: Capable Connections: Fathers and Sons
Jennie Allen Podcast: Daily Habits that Draw you Closer to God with Jon Tyson
DOAC: John Lennox
No Small Endeavor: Hunter Prosper: An ICU Nurse on Trauma and te Healing Power of Listening
Bridgetown Audio Podcast: The Failure of Abram in Egypt
Bridgetown Audio Podcast: Hope in Action: Mary
The Chewing
“I don’t want you to just live here, I want you to find life here.” Jamie Erickson on the home she is creating and why she has a two-table dining room.
“Hyggelige homes recognize that nature naturally reflects the season. Take a simple walk around the block collecting natural elements like wildflowers, budding branches, pinecones - any bit of nature that can be gathered in a vase and set on a tabletop. God’s design is always seasonally appropriate. What’s more, according to the American Society for Horticultural Science, plants have therapeutic, life giving benefits. Their recent findings revealed that surgical patients experienced lower blood pressure as well as lower rates of pain, anxiety, and fatigue when flowers were brought into their recovery rooms. So if you’re going to fil your space with seasonal somethings, do as the Danes and fill it with nature…In that way, you’ll be inviting the outside in, recreating the atmosphere of the Garden with both sights and smells.” Jamie Erickson
This bit from Jamie made me think of the creche walk that Sylvie Vanhoozer talks about in her Advent chapter for The Art of Living in Season. The idea is that you do a nature walk to adorn the “creche” (nativity scene) that grounds the story of Christ’s birth in YOUR time and place. Just as he came back then to a small village, he still comes to all that prepare Him room.
And speaking of Sylvie, I’ve picked up her book again and found myself in “Ordinary Time”. Here’s some things I’m chewing on this week:
“Ordinary Time presents us with an empty stage and an open calendar, a long season with no holy days to punctuate it. Yet there is a newness to this particular period. Ordinary time is a time for everything – “a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). The challenge for everyday Saints is to walk across that stage and, with Christ in them, transform their ordinary into scenes of holiness. This is the adventure – or dare I say the Adventishness – of living in a period of watchful waiting, seeking opportunities to live out the life of Christ and ordinary ways.”
“The indwelling Spirit within them (everyday saints) equips them to play whatever part God has given them in ways that may turn the world upside down (Acts 17:6). Christians are not everyday people trying hard to become saints; rather, they are saints – recreated in Christ – trying to live out the life of Christ in the everyday. They do this by pursuing their particular vocations in their respective places through the seasons to the glory of God.”
In the margins of my copy of The Art of Living in Season, I wrote the name “Cherie” beside the first quote by Sylvie above. This week, I am releasing a podcast in tribute to my friend Cherie and I wrote her name because I believe she embodied this reality in her life. The episode highlights story after story of Cherie, led by the Spirit, intersecting with the lives of others to bring glory to God and good to those she loved. She was a beautiful and lovely everyday saint.
People need space to talk. When listening to people it is important to keep paying attention. Allow them to get the full thought out. If conversation is like a dance, you don’t need to lead/control the dance/conversation. (Hunter Prosper)
Prioritize the people over how you will use the content. People are not material for our curiosity. (Hunter Prosper)
Nobody wants to spend time with someone if they think they are perpetually disappointed in them. How do you imagine God sees you? How does this affect the time you spend with Him? (Jon Tyson)
Boys listen closely to the men they want to be like. (David Thomas)
Expression is a learned skill for boys. Narration helps them so much. (David Thomas)
Wisdom is often relational and being sharpened by other men is the way to become a good man. (David Thomas)
I’m not a dad but this episode on fathers and sons was really affirming for me. As mentioned, we celebrated my oldest turning 13 this weekend. Part of our gift to him was letters from men that have been present in his life. I gave each man a questionnaire and asked them to answer all that they felt comfortable speaking to. It was SUCH A DELIGHT to read what they had to share and to pass that along to my son. My prayer is that these vulnerable offerings would shape him and that he would learn the gift of being sharpened by others and learning from their experiences.
“The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.“ Proverbs 15:31 (ESV)
That’s the hope!
From my journal:
I was really struck by the Bridgetown sermon on Gen. 12v10-20 about Abram and Sarai in Egypt - he has been given a promise, he sets out to go where God has told him to go, there is a famine there, so he goes down to Egypt. He grasps to keep himself safe and secure by leveraging his wife.
We are positioned to trust or control. Help me to be a woman that walks the slow way of trust.From my journal:
I am struck by the healing of the blind beggar (Luke 18:31-43). He is sitting by the roadside. He hears a crowd and asks what’s going on. Up to this point, it has likely been a normal day.
“Jesus of Nazareth is passing by”
And in that moment, hope blooms. Something changed.
He cries out: “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!”
Others try to silence him and rebuke him, perhaps saying:
“Be quiet,”
“Don’t bother the teacher.”
“Who are you to seek his attention?”
But he cried out all the more.
Jesus stopped.
“What do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord, let me recover my sight.”
“Recover your sight; your faith has made you well.”
The man’s sight was recovered. He followed Jesus. He glorified God. And all the people did likewise.
The Green Leaf
“Ordinary time is for cultivation and harvest.” – Sylvie Vanhoozer
Lord, help me to do the long, patient, limited work of cultivation. As I am watching and paying attention in real time, it does produce fruit.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.“
Galatians 6:9 ESV
The Integration
We often have the shades on our south-facing window closed. This is, in part, because it is a window that gets full sun. This week, when I get my morning coffee, I am going to open the shades and look upon our blackberry bush. I trust that, in doing this, I will be attentive to the changing hues of the berries and reminded of the sweet, slow ripening happening in my own life and in the lives of the people I love—like the soon-to-be thirteen-year-old sitting at our table, who is, by God’s grace, growing strong and well.
